The Core of Things

[Sunako Koshiba]

Counseling. As a Healer if was important for all the Healers to see what the others do for a few days and Sunako had been placed in the Mental Health department. Sunako would have complained but she had been in worse spots with worse results. And anyway she wasn't completely heartless. She was just heartless to the Koshiba family for what they had done to her. Sunako had taken it because of one boy who became the man she had hoped he would be. Sunako sat in a large arm chair with her legs crossed as she waited for the young man she was supposed to see today. She wondered why he was coming to see a Healer for. She looked at his record once more and sighed to herself. A were, Sunako wasn't prejedude like most of the Koshiba. The sigh was to control herself. She had been working on something for the curse of the werewolf for a while now based on the notes of another Healer and would want him to try it out for her. She knew that it was the ver nature of those infected not to trust most especially those that claimed to have a cure. She was here for training so she had to keep such things to herself. Sunako intertwined her fingers and looked at the clock. The young man should be here soon.

 

[Dederick Cullen]

For the past few months his drinking problem had increased, and it was not getting any better then he would've had like. He tried giving it up, tried quitting making himself believed he was happy with being himself, but it wasn't easy for him. It was never easy for Dederick Cullen. No matter how hard he tried being a better person, the results of his struggles would always stab in the back hard. Unfortunately giving up counseling resulted his deep depression, he went back to St. Mungos to get help once more. When they decided to test him, they had realized he was almost out of it and he needed just someone to sort out his problem and maybe then he would be okay. Whatever, Dederick was up for anything. He wanted a sense of release from the damage he has cause himself already, he walked inside the felicity with his head drop down and awaited by a corner for his name to be called when his schedule appointment came up.

He walked slowly to room, expecting someone much older to assist him. He was shock to see it was someone young about his age and she look strangely familiar. Dederick as he suppose should be doing, sat down on the couch in front of her. He looked awkward, really out of place, that means it's sort of kinda where he belong. Behind walls and somewhere he could let his feelings out. "Hi, I'm Dederick, you must be the new person I should be seeing?"

 

[Sunako Koshiba]

Sunako put what could be considered a gentle smile on her face though those that knew her would have run in the other direction if they had seen it on her. Sunako didn't smile at any time other than in her lab when she was expiramenting on animals. Her super spiders where doing well though she did have to keep them fed. This was not that kind of smile though. It was the smile that she wore for work, the kind that put people at ease around her despite the dementorish aura she tended to give off. Sunako opened the file on her lap and offered her hand to Dederick. "Sunako Koshiba, former Drumstrang and Healer in training. I am required to inform you are my case study as such whatever you say in this room shall not be repeated under the rules of Healer/patient confidentiality. She said in her usual monotone but it had a slight soft edge to it.

Sunako was not the kind to show kindness to others but this required the same treatment that she gave the girls at the Koshiba manor after one of Koaru's parties. Some of them cracked under the treatment they reseved and leaned on Sunako to be their steady. "We can start with why are you here?" She asked uncrossing and recrossing her legs under her clip board.

 

[Dederick Cullen]

Ah, so they went to the same school. Nice, perfect. It explain a whole lot, the one needed to be seen came from that school and the one seeing him attended there Made logical sense as to why they paired him up with her, with that airy aura she let out explains how he got stuck with her and not some skirt like his last therapist. She would be able to handle what he said and if she really meant patient confidentiality, then that was all great for him. He sat on the edge of his seat, his dark eyes lock into hers. She was extremely strange to be helping others, a great benefit to him, this time he won't tried sleeping with therapists and actually get something off his skins. He rocked back and fourth a little on the edge of his seat, feels so fawking great to be safe it really does. It's so wonderful just the outside world is complete poop to him. But he didn't want her to think he was mentally incapable of handling himself, but he was on that edge and that edge could push him to just about do anything.

"To be quiet honest, I don't know what brings me here today. But I know if I didn't come here, I have no clue where the hell I would be. I have my own place, but it's lonely in there, I have a girlfriend who I think I love but I have no idea if it's true, and I'm a fawking beast when the moon comes out. So you can see there's just so much going on right now, to much on my plate. I was thinking someone in here can help me, is that enough to start with?" he paused from his ongoing outburst. He hope that didn't scare her off, oh what was he thinking. poop he prayed that scared her enough to send him into asylum somewhere so he could never be seen again.

 

[Sunako Koshiba]

Sunako was not one to be easily scared. In fact in some cases she was the thing that most people where afraid of. Her red eyes gave people the creeps at times but she could see that this was not the case with this one. "Loneliness is a natural state to be in. Though to some solitude is preferably to some there are some that are in need of actual attention. Of course your a beast when the full moon is out you a Were. A creature of the night and in my not so humble opinion what should be considered the next step in evolution. It is hard out there for those with the wolf in their vanes it's always hard but there are many that have overcome this obsicle and thrived. Sunako said as she wrote things down on her clipboard. His mind was something to pick over. She was interested to see what she could learn from him.

"Now tell me more about this girl of yours how do you believe she factors into everything that your feeling at the moment?" She asked. Sunako wanted to get the complete picture of this girl and why she would give her heart to a half breed. Sunako would have never done it herself but then again she wasn't the type to be in love really. Tohoru had been the acception. Some of his attractiveness came from the fact that she could control him completely. The girl of Dedrick had to be something special.

 

[Dederick Cullen]

That all sounded pretty grand to someone else, but to Dederick it always meant something much more. He hated to be alone and he hated being a werewolf. The fact she would compare him to some other werewolf and how others could coop with being alone didn't make him any less better for him. He would resume staring at Sunako's red eyes, they were so different from any other color eyes he's ever crossed in his entire life. Dederick was unaffected, he's seen death and he's seen so much worst then a woman's appearance, he hardly felt the affects of being afraid, unless he saw dead, if he saw the dead then he would lose it. Unless well the dead could speak to him then yeah that was a whole other story. Dad coming back alive, dad hunting me till he dies, dad will definite be the end of him staying here, dad and the dead. Death he's already witness, if he was alive now then he wasn't afraid of it.

"She's my girlfriend, and I think I love her. I don't know, I just think she not real to me all the time. Like she being fake, I did something really horrible and she acts like it was nothing. Well it is something to mean, it's everything about me. And I don't understand how she could love me for what I've done to her. It makes me feel guilty every time I see her and I think I'm only with her because of this guilt. I'm unsure of my feelings, it's driving me insane" he muster up the courage to say that and it knock the wind out of him. He was edging that it was just all in his head and that he loved Briar will all his beings, and he needed to calm down and distinguish these demons for good.

 

[Sunako Koshiba]

Sunako looked at right back and him and shrugged. "I think you just answered you own question. You are with her because of guilt that you carry. There is a heart inside you and it is telling you to make up to her for what you did to her. Now doing so to a degree can be a good thing but taking it too far like convincing this girl that your are in fact in love with her will only damage her further. And yourself. If I'm right you feel like your splitting yourself in two right now, just for her, going against your nature. What you do with this knowledge however is up to you." She said as she looked at him through intertwined fingers. Her eyes where studying him like a specimen rather than a person but this is what she saw most people as.

Sunako kept eye contact with him. This was not an intimidation thing, she was sure that he was studying her as much as she was observing him. Sunako was sure that this was a matter of misplaced feelings also she wondered if he had ever considered joining a pack. He may also be the leader type so maybe he would be a good leader of one. Sunako was sure that, much like herself, he did not feel comfortable with normal people. It did not take a higher mind to link what he did to this girl had been turned by Dederick.

 

[Dederick Cullen]

She was right. He fell to the floor and slump on the ground. Defeated he shuttered in place, his eyes became wet with hot tears. He was angry had how vulnerable he had gotten, before he would brain fawk the hell out of a therapist. Mess with their head till their time was up, and then this happen. The time he would actually listen to someone here and take in what whatever that was being said has never click his mind till this very moment. Sure he would listen and sometimes he would think about what they said. Sometimes he would have flash backs about his session, this was a first accusation when his mind click automatically. It was like hearing it for the first time but he knew this already he understood it very well. It's all about accepting it now from this point on, there was nothing left to do.

"Let me clarify what you're saying to me, you're saying that I only love her because of guilt and that is why I'm with her?" sounded it about right, he rubbed his head. He had cut it off right after school and changed the roots darker. He looked down at his shoes, they were dirty with mud and the laces were undone. He went to tie them slowly as he sat on the floor, obviously thinking about it all what was being said. All the facts, all the truth, and all the lies. He felt awfully bad for misleading her that way, he look down at his hands were the tattoo read 'Brick' and this was suppose to be a lie too? He ran a finger across his knuckles, all lies and he was all fault for everything that's happen so far.

 

[Sunako Koshiba]

Sunako watched the display of emotion with no expression. This was part of the job after all. That and she was sure that he wanted to be left to feel the things he felt on his own. "More or less. It's not rare for a relationship to be formed over wrongs done. What you have to ask yourself is if you want to continue this relationship with her or not." Sunako said as she took notes down on her clipboard. All this coming from a were was interesting but not in the was most people would find it so. Sunako's mind was trying to work out why people care so much about things like this. She seemed like a sympathetic shoulder though and that was a good thing.

Sunako looked at the boy once more and asked. "Have you ever thought of joining or starting a pack?" Though she wasn't really sure he would be fond of the idea. She thought she should ask for the sake of her case study. This was turning out to be a good excersise for her indeed.

 

[Dederick Cullen]

Dederick eyes were clear from wetness and he regain his normal behavior. He remain on the ground though, thinking he suppose what he should do, what he should say, what did meant for him in the future. He looked up at Sub, he shook his head no at her question. "I never wanted this to happen, she an okay girl but I don't connect with anyone that easy. It takes me time, it takes me forever to think about love and quite frankly it's the last thing that I think about" he said leaning his palm on his forehead. He was tired emotionally playing head games, if he had continued it he would've lost it. He saw loving someone powerful and it made him weak, he hated feeling that way, he hated sharing his feelings with someone and a girl he hardly knew at that. He shook his head in disbelief.

"No...?" a clear confusion on his face would pull him out of his self loathing. Way to change a subject, to be honest he was a little relief for her weird question though he had to ask. "What does me being an a pack have anything to do with her? Or me? I have never thought about joining one, don't think it's possible" he laid his head down on the couch cushion, he felt a little sick. He open his legs and vomit right on the ground, expecting urges first to happen before he threw up like it just came out of nowhere. All the drinks and left over food he hate earlier all came out on the floor. He wipe his mouth leaning on the couch again as he became to tired to hold himself up.